My Name’s Jon and I’m a fucking pigeon.
Someone whose Shorty promotion description is “HI, MY NAME’S JON AND I’M A FUCKING PIGEON” is what’s standing between me and my Shorty dream.
DON’T LET THE “I’M A FUCKING PIGEON” MAN WIN!
Begging and pleading for Shorty Awards votes is hurting me more than it’s hurting you. Which might be hard to believe since the constant drumbeat of my humblepimping has made you want to block/unfriend/unfollow me since it started. I KNOW AND I APOLOGIZE. But I must place.
I only need 30 votes — 30!! — to get into the Top 6 and safely stay there. (Actually, I only need 5 to get into the top 6 — I’m #7 right now — such complicated math!! — but THAT PIGEON GUY will just jump over me again unless I have a good margin.) So I’m down on all fours asking those who have not yet voted for me in the #humor category — and provided a reason — because the uber-complicated Shorty system requires you give a reason!! — to do so now. Tell your friends. Beg them to vote. And maybe — just maybe — I’ll get into the top 6 and have a chance at a Shorty Award which would be a huge thing for me.
My gratitude to all my friends who have voted and who have endured my endless begging-blitzes knows no bounds. Especially now, when I’ve needed a distraction from real life. Please know that I’m a huge believer in PIMPING IT FORWARD. And so, whether I win or lose, I will ALWAYS PIMP FOR YOU, NO MATTER WHAT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Here’s how to vote:
1. Just cut and paste this into a Tweet:
I nominate @laurazigman for a Shorty Award in #humor because…
2. Click on this link: