First of all, Laura is risking all sorts of copyright infringement by posting that brilliant “COMCAST BLOWS” graphic above because she doesn’t know who to credit and she can’t stop herself from using it even though she’s not able to credit whoever/whomever created it. She’s hoping that whoever/whomever (note to self: must relearn who/whom rule) created that “COMCAST BLOWS” logo/sign will understand that Laura just HAD to use it, in good faith, because, well, COMCAST BLOWS and venting and ranting and branting THIS MINUTE was absolutely necessary for her mental health.
Or, as Laura twittered last night, COMCAST SUCKS.
Laura really hopes that Comcast’s PR department routinely scans the web for people complaining about how much COMCAST SUCKS because she really hopes they see this and probably a thousand other blogs about how much they suck. Maybe, if they do, they’ll figure out that they should do what they can to STOP SUCKING.
There are few things more boring than listening to someone vent and rant and brant about a stupid cable company SUCKING, because, well, everyone knows that cable companies SUCK and the real story would be someone who has a story about a cable company NOT SUCKING. But despite all the usual CABLE COMPANIES SUCK stories Laura has heard or has acquired on her own over the years regarding her own experiences with cable companies — botched installations, missed appointments, egregious cable-guy butt-cracks — this current STILL UNRESOLVED PROBLEM WITH COMCAST takes first prize in her own personal pantheon of shitty cable company stories.
Laura’s not going to bore you (for too long) with the details of her sad sorry tale of CABLE COMPANY MISCONDUCT, but suffice it to say that her first big mistake was thinking that she could improve on the general SUCKINESS of RCN by switching to COMCAST. So stupid. How did she get to be 47 years old without knowing that ALL CABLE COMPANIES SUCK and to go from ONE TO THE OTHER only increases your exposure to their maddening suckiness? So that’s where it started. The beginning of the end. Switching. In came Comcast, and during their routine installation they apparently cut the connection to the alarm system that hooks up her house to the alarm company for burglary/fire/flood etc. Laura had no idea they’d done this — until her alarm company called the following week and said their weekly Monday test to her house had failed and had they had any phone work or cable work done that could have caused the failure.
Funny you should mention that, Laura said to the Alarm Company person, We just switched to Comcast….
And so began one of the most aggravating never-ending STILL UNRESOLVED SUCKY CABLE COMPANY EXPERIENCES of her life. She can’t tell you how many HOURS she’s spent on the phone trying to get a fucking COMCAST TECHNICIAN to show up — the first time she tried, they gave her an appointment almost TEN DAYS out of her phone call which Laura thought was kind of unacceptable given the fact that it was COMCAST’S FAULT for damaging her connection to her alarm company and because having a connection to an alarm company for fire and theft is KIND OF IMPORTANT. Laura complained to a supervisor and managed to get an appointment in three days — only when the day came and Laura had moved things around to be home for the three-hour-window of the technician’s visit NO TECHNICIAN ARRIVED. This was because THE COMCAST REPRESENTATIVE NEVER ACTUALLY GENERATED A WORK ORDER FOR A TECHNICIAN TO VISIT HER HOUSE BECAUSE SHE FORGOT TO ENTER IT INTO THE SYSTEM. (<–that’s pretty much a direct quote)
Laura then complained AGAIN to ANOTHER supervisor who AGAIN gave her some bullshit about not being able to get a technician out to fix WHAT THEY HAD DAMAGED for another WEEK TO TEN DAYS, and when Laura refused to get off the phone until they gave her an appointment SOONER than a week to ten days, she was told she could EMAIL HER COMPLAINT ON THE COMCAST WEBSITE. Apparently, they have this “EMAIL RICK” thing where you get to EMAIL this NON-EXISTENT “RICK” WITH NO LAST NAME as if USING THE NAME “RICK” WITH NO LAST NAME is supposed to inspire a sense of comfort and FUN in the irate customer who is emailing with a complaint. NOTE TO COMCAST CUSTOMER SERVICE GENIUS TEAM: Emailing some NON-EXISTENT “RICK” with NO LAST NAME is FUCKING ANNOYING and a complete BULLSHITTY WAY of dealing with customer complaints and only makes the irate customer MORE IRATE.
So, in addition to wasting several hours on the phone and waiting for a technician who never showed up, now Laura wastes ANOTHER HOUR crafting a SCREED to “RICK” which gets her an auto-response email from Comcast saying they’ve received her complaint and someone will be in touch. Well, sure enough, someone “REACHES OUT” to her (that’s the language the customer representative actually uses) and begins a 7-8 phone call fiasco during which she tries to arrange for a technician to call Laura directly to make a new appointment for service. This finally happens — a technician-guy calls her directly and they make an appointment for YESTERDAY AT 5 P.M. Laura is diligently home at 5 P.M. because THAT’S WHEN THE APPOINTMENT WAS SCHEDULED FOR and guess what? THE TECHNICIAN DIDN’T SHOW UP.
ANOTHER irate hour is spent on the phone as Laura tries to find out WHY THE FUCK the technician isn’t here THIS TIME and is told that, no, her appointment wasn’t for 5 p.m. (“We don’t do that,” the Comcast representative informs her), it was for a “4-7 p.m. window.” Laura demands to speak to a supervisor (a complete farce) and is then informed that the technician is indeed in her area. The problem is that Laura has to go to a MEETING and can’t HANG AROUND INDEFINITELY for this technician who is ALLEGEDLY in her area. So the Comcast representative realizes that that technician probably doesn’t even have to enter Laura’s house to fix the connection (it’s outside) and assures her that even though Laura has to leave, he will let the technician WHO IS ALLEGEDLY in the area that he can fix the situation without entering the house, and that he will give the technician Laura’s cell phone number AND the number to the Alarm Company so that they can test the connection and make sure the technician has fixed the problem.
So Laura leaves to go to her meeting. But when she returns two hours later there is a message on her home voicemail: it’s from COMCAST, a few minutes after Laura had left for her meeting, saying “THE TECHNICIAN IS AT THE HOME AND RECEIVING NO RESPONSE FROM THE DOORBELL OR BY PHONE SO HE’S LEAVING AND WE’RE CANCELLING THE APPOINTMENT.”
Laura at that point can literally feel her blood pressure EXPLODE and she gets on the phone A-FUCKING-GAIN and tries to explain to yet ANOTHER CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE what has happened and how unacceptable the situation is. She gets transferred to someone else, put on hold, then fucking DISCONNECTED, at which point she writes ANOTHER SCREED TO “RICK” WITH NO LAST NAME demanding a technician fix the problem.
Needless to say, it’s 9:45 a.m. and Comcast has not called or emailed. Laura completely apologizes for boring you with the details of the situation –she hadn’t intended on doing that but it just all came out. Feel free to share your horror stories with Laura and she will continue to update her loyal brant-readers on the progress — or, more likely, NON PROGRESS, of the situation. She will try to keep her updates brief and less boring, but she can’t guarantee she can reduce her use of CAPS and the EFF word.