Newsflash: Laura Left the House and Saw a Movie!


It’s a(nother) rainy day (duh) here on the East Coast and Laura finally hauled herself out of her house and out to a coffee shop for a change of scenery.  She’s not going to lie — she’s been feeling pretty, well, uninspired lately and one of the things that happens when she feels uninspired is that she kind of forgets to leave the house (you know, for reasons other than pick up or drop off, food shopping, shrink, Ben’s music lessons, etc).  She doesn’t actually forget — she just forgets to remember that leaving the house and changing her scenery is an option.

Yesterday she really shook things up — she actually went out to a matinee movie — a 3 p.m. showing of Sandra Bullock’s new movie, “The Proposal” that she’d heard was hilarious and had earned, through this alleged hilarity, to claim the #1 spot at the box office this past weekend.  Laura can’t believe she just said “#1 spot at the box office this past weekend” like she knows anything, but it and the great reviews sure sounded like selling points, and so she decided to go against her normal routine of staying home in the rain and pretending to work and shake things up a little. She recently even started Twittering so she thought what could be better than a cheap afternoon movie and a little mini-micro-tweet-branting?

She was a little embarrassed leaving the house and going out into public with her ridiculous Jew-Fro from all the rain and humidity but she shouldn’t have been because hitting a suburban movie theatre at 3 in the afternoon isn’t really “going out into public.” The only people there besides the two teenagers selling tickets and popcorn were about 4 or 5 or 6 senior citizens, getting their discounts and their teeny-tiny little cupfuls of popcorn (sidebar question: did you know that at the AMC theatre chain there’s the ‘kiddie’ cup equivalent ‘Senior Size” cup of popcorn? and when Laura says “cup of popcorn” she literally means CUP of popcorn.  It was served in a small paper cup, the kind they give away for free to cheapskates like me to get water at the water fountain — not the big giant super gulp size with the Coke logos all over them).

Laura also realized that she was wrong about it being a cheap afternoon — the “matinee” ticket was $8 and the non-senior citizen small size popcorn was $4.75 and that plus all the text messages and “Tweets” she sent from her phone about her big day out probably put her over the $50 mark. (Just kidding. Probably over the $100 mark.)

But this was all worth it once the lights went down because Sandra Bullock was hilarious — Laura would like to go on record here and now and say that she has always been a huge and unabashed Sandra Bullock fan because of her incredible comic timing and willingness to make herself look completely ridiculous and do absolutely anything for a laugh while somehow being able to jerk a tear from Laura every single time (okay, maybe not in Speed, but how she managed to do that in “Miss Congeniality” Laura has no idea). Ryan Reynolds was also hilarious though of course she’s not demented enough to pretend to herself or her eagle-eyed brant readers that Ryan Reynolds’ comic timing is all she’s interested in.  Because that would be a lie. And while Laura doesn’t brant that often when she does she tells the truth.  And the truth is that Ryan Reynolds is entirely celebrity-crush-worthy and even quite possibly (God strike her dead) a Hugh-Jackman-replacement.

(Laura figured she’d give that last line a second or two to sink in.)

Of course, one of the real reasons she went to see a movie was because she figured that she should start seeing movies if she wants to write them.  She may not have branted about this yet, but Laura did actually just finish polishing her first attempt at screenwriting — the adaptation of Piece of Work (her fourth novel)(which had been optioned by Tom Hanks’ company Playtone)(but the option lapsed a long time ago and Laura only now got around to trying her hand at writing the script and hopes her agent will be able to re-sell it). She’s really happy with it, believe it or not, and has to say that she never ever in a million years could have possibly written it without the help of the amazing screenwriting book Save the Cat, by Blake Snyder.  More about Laura’s adventures in screenwriting in future brants, but suffice it to say that she had a lot of fun — yes, writing can be fun! sort of! — kind of!  — but not really!  — I mean, fun is relative! — and hopes to do more of it in the not-too-distant future.

Laura hopes to leave the house tomorrow, too, which would make it three days in a row and give her lots to brant about!

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3 thoughts on “Newsflash: Laura Left the House and Saw a Movie!

  1. Mockarena says:

    Ryan Reynolds is dreamy. But don't cheat on Hugh. 🙂

  2. stephanie green says:

    Soul sister don't even go there with the Jewfro. I've got you beat in that department. If it's any consolation I rarely leave my building before 4 p.m. xoxo

  3. janet says:

    I haven't seen it yet, but want to…I think your brant has pushed me over the edge…

    I MUST SEE THIS FILM!

    ~~J

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